I have been practically jumping out of my skin since last May to see The Avengers. You see, I have a deep love for Marvel comics and all things superhero. I wanted to share my appreciation for the comic book arts with my children, so I decided that we would go see it on opening day. I am that kind of mom. You’re not buying this are you?
Ok then, fine. I took my children as a front, so I could stare at a certain half-naked demi-god again. Thor, god of hotness. Hubba Hubba.
So, I take the kids right after school and we pull the whole junk food as supper routine and settle in for the movie. My youngest had buttered popcorn, Skittles and blue Kool-aid. Leave your judgement at the door mamas. I know, I know. Good lord, do I know.
About twenty minutes into the movie, my youngest daughter crawls over onto my lap and says her tummy doesn’t feel well. We sit for a few minutes and I ask her if she wants to go to the washroom. She says she’s okay and less than 30 seconds later stands straight up and vomits. As every mom knows, when your kid throws up and no receptacle is to be found, your hands become said receptacle.
So, that’s how we ended up, me walking down the hall with two hands full of popcorn, skittles and blue kool-aid, and my ill daughter in tow. She then went for Round #2 and emptied her stomach all over the hallway leading out. Fan-freakin-tastic. Obviously, at this point, my hands are quite literally full, so I can neither comfort nor catch until I find a garbage can. We make it to the garbage can just outside the door for Round #3.
I leave her at the garbage can for fear she won’t make it to the washroom and run across to wash my hands and grab some paper towels to clean her face. When I return, my oldest daughter is standing there looking miffed. “Ah, does this mean we have to leave?”, she says.
Ok, let’s just pause her for a moment moms and relate. Mom to Mom. You know that “look” you have? The one that says, without saying a word, “Child, if you have the audacity to say another word to me right now, so help me God, I will disown you and adopt you out to Gypsies” That look? Yeah, I pulled that look out.
On the way out, I hunt down the manager to share the happy news with him, “My daughter just threw up in the your theatre. I’m really sorry about that. Any way we could get a refund?” Hats off to the guy, he took it in stride, and handed us three passes for another show.
My apologies to the people left behind in the theatre. My apologies to the people in the line-up outside who were witness to the little package in my hands while walking across to the washroom. My apologies to the poor kid that had to clean that up. You should all know though, that as soon as I got in the car, I laughed my ass off the whole way home at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Because, if you don’t laugh my friends, you cry.
There was a small saving grace to this whole thing. For me anyway. There was a trailer before the movie with one of my five in it. Jason Statham. I’ll take what I can get.
Pleasantville Note: My daughter is fine, and in a bit of even better news, she might be scared off of junk food for a little while. Go figure.
New Fantasyland
Ugh! And yikes! We had a very similar incident on a plane an hour away from our destination caused by the Timbits I allowed at the airport. Luckily, hubby, who can actually handle being near puke without starting in himself (unlike me) was sitting next to the offender while I was across the aisle with child #2. Yes, I’m sure the flight attendants and other passengers adored us!
LMAO!! With you tho! Like you said… if you don’t laugh… !
Oh My! So Funny! I remember going online at the crack of dawn the day tickets to see “Beauty and the Beast” on stage went live. I bought two – one for me and one for my daughter who was around 5 years old at the time. Like any good mother I built up the excitement for months and the day of dressed her up and took her out for a special mommy and daughter dinner then on to the show. At intermission the children were invited up to see the orchestra pitt – after a 5 minute presentation on the instruments the kids ran back up the aisles to their parents. When my daughter got to me she gave me the “look” did a short dry-heave then I cupped my hands together and she puked right into them. Needless to say, after a quick clean up in the bathroom we got the heck out of there. Neither of us have seen Beauty and the Beast on stage in it’s entirety to this day 🙂
Oh my gawd, I so feel for you. I know I could not catch it with my hands because my own gagging reflux would cut in, and I would be vomiting right along with the child. I was blessed, my children had the foresight to get sick pretty much only at home, or at least when their father was around!
OMG Lisa, you win! Worst place ever for that to happen…..you can’t get away. The joys of parenthood LOL
Number 1 rule of parenting: Don’t take it too seriously 🙂
When I wrote this I knew it would resonate with mom’s because we’ve all done this right? I couldn’t imagine cupping my hands and doing that for a single other soul on earth aside from my children 🙂
Funny how they do that LOL. It’s like they do know.
oh, gross! you poor thing, not only did you have to deal with that trama but from now to eternity everytime you step foot through those doors a kid is going to say “Hey, Mommy remember that time….”
This is the seed of urban legend – like the Cheese Touch.
I hope take 2 goes is less eventful!
Oh…I feel woozy just reading that. Of course it might have something to do with a shirtless Jason Statham…holy hotness. I’m sorry you got to miss the first showing and got vomit all over your hands and everywhere else, but I’m glad she’s feeling better now. On the plus side you did get to see my boyfriend twice. Did I mention that Jason is my boyfriend?