Things I Learned this Week

If you’re not learning, you’re not growing, right? That doesn’t necessarily mean that every lesson is going to broaden your horizons. Here’s what I gleaned this week.

– that a mammogram isn’t that bad, once you get over the awkwardness of a woman feeling you up that is. Although, I think they could at least serve a glass of wine to loosen you up a bit. Get to know me a little. Is that so much to ask?

– that my breasts are friggin’ contortionists. I had no idea they were that pliable and could flatten like pancakes. Is there some kind of award for this? A circus I could join?

– That I prefer blogging to vlogging. At least when I blog I don’t have to put make up on and I can stay in my pajamas. #Winning

– that patent leather heels bring a whole new level of pain to the high heel wearing experience. This in no way implies that I won’t wear them again. Pain be damned, they look smokin’

– that I’m not the only one that wishes they had the gift of foresight

– apparently you can make something called “Swish” from used whiskey barrels. I am currently discouraging my father and husband from doing this with the two I just bought.

– that I am still a teenage girl when I discover a new song, playing it over and over and over again

– that when you get busted for speeding in front of your children, there’s really no way out of it. You have to own up.

– that Coca-cola eats hard water stains in your toilet. I am now intrigued as to how I even have a stomach left.

– that being married to a 50 year old is hot. Men really do get better with age. Rowr.